Oh the Letters You Can Write!
by wouldsomebody
Summary: Lame title, I know. This is the Seussical fanletter database: Leave questions to the characters in a comment or send them to me in a PM, and "they" will respond! Props to Scrooge McDuck, who inspired me to do this. Anything's possible if you just ask it!
1. Information!

Me: This has been done GAZILLIONS of times, but the fact that there isn't one of these for Seussical is just preposterous!

Jojo: *looks up slowly from his book* Wait. . . . So you're going to make us talk to people we don't know? 

Cat: *pops out of nowhere, smiling like a maniac* AWWW, c'mon, Jojo, where's your sense of _adventure_? I think it's a SPLENDIFEROUS idea!

Jojo: My sense of adventure was crushed by _you, _long, long ago. I'd rather stay safely inside my own mind, thanks. And is "splendiferous" even a _word?_

Gertrude: *blushes* Oh my! I hope no one will ask anything embarrassing!

Horton: This should be interesting. I bet we'll meet lots of fascinating people!

Sour Kangaroo: Humph! I ain't lettin' anyone pry into MY private life! And neither are you, Roo! *takes her son by the hand*

Roo: But momma, it'll be fun!

Wickershams: *rubbing hands together mischievously* Haha, let him do it, Kangaroo!

Mayzie: *shoves everyone out of the way* AT LAST! A chance for my fans to express their DEVOTION to me! *smiles dazzlingly and poses* Who's first? I love you all, but please, make a line!

Cat: *rubs the back of his neck* Jeez. . . . I thought she learned her lesson the first time. Ah well! *grins* I guess I'll just have to cook up another elaborate scheme to show her the meaning of life and responsibility!

Jojo: *headdesk*

Me: Oh Lord. . . . Your skull made a loud cracking sound kid, are you alright?

Mr. Mayor: *straightens his jacket pompously* I suppose I could take some time out of my mayoral duties for this. It is, after all, my duty to serve the public!

Mrs. Mayor: *fixes her husband's tie* You are so attentive your job! *smiles fondly* Jojo, dear, I'm not sure I want you doing this. . . talking to complete strangers. . . .

Me: *sounding scarily like the Cat* AWW, c'mon, Mrs. Mayor! It's not like these people are mass murderers or anything! *long, awkward pause* Well. . . .at least I'm 86% sure they're not! *nervous laugh*

Mrs. Mayor: *faints*

General Genghis Khan Schmitz: Now see what you've done, young lady! On your feet, cadets, and take this poor woman to the hospital! Step lively!

Cadets: *pick Mrs. Mayor up and march her to the hospital* Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz. . . .

The Grinch: Well, that was weird.

Yertle the Turtle: *to SoftlySpokenHeart* Hope to high heavens, missy, that the Mayor family doesn't sue you!

Cat: *appears in suit and tie, with a briefcase and glasses* No worries, if she does, I'll be your lawyer!

Me: *headdesk* Oh. . . .Now I feel legally ensured. . . .

Cat: Yup! *grins* I knew you'd feel better!

Me: You don't know the meaning of the word "sarcasm," do you?

Cat: *blank stare*

Me: *sigh* . . . Well, he's a lost cause. ANYWAY, to my dear readers, please take the time to ask one of the wonderful Seussical characters . . .*gets evil glares* AHEM, eh, _people, _*gets more evil glares* er, ANIMALS, *gets more evil glares* um, WHOS SLASH ANIMALS SLASH WHATEVER THE HECK YOU ALL ARE, okay, what was I saying? Ah yes. Well, just leave a comment or send me a message asking any of them questions! Any questions at all! Oh, and because I'm sure that I'm not the only fanficcer out there with a dirty mind, the rating MAY GO UP! I'll be sure to give a rating to every individual chapter, so that the fainthearted will be able to maneuver around any risqué themes that may crop up.

Jojo: "Risqué themes"? Are you serious?

Me: Oh please, no one will ask YOU any iffy questions! *second long, awkward pause* At least . . . I really hope not . . . O_O

Cat: *bursts out laughing hysterically*

Me: *clamps hand over his mouth* OKAY! GOODBYE FOR NOW! AND DON'T FORGET TO SEND THOSE QUESTIONS!


	2. Query 1: Dear Jojo

Submitted by: iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12

**To JoJo: I will not ask you anything risqué. I wonder how traumatized you**

**were after you're last adventure with the Cat?**

Dear Invisible Girl,

Wow, are you really invisible? That must be fun! I tried to Think myself invisible once, to get away from the Cat ya know, but he poked around and eventually found me, and then dumped red ink all over me so he could see where I was. . . .

Anyway, what was the question again? *looks up* OH YEAH. Well then, where do I begin. . . . On a scale of one to ten, my trauma probably measured an eleven. I mean, how would you feel if you were walking home from school one day, you see a weird hat on the ground, innocently pick it up, and a giant talking cat leaps out of a manhole in the street and turns your life into a musical? *breathes heavily*

Sorry. I've been prone to ranting lately . . .But it's true. I've never been able to take a bath in peace again— I'm constantly looking over my shoulders for him! And, uh, this is a little embarrassing, but now I always wear a swimsuit when I'm in the shower or bath. . . . Just . . . don't tell anyone, okay?

And I'm still having trouble concentrating in school. I guess being honored as Thinker Non-Stop doesn't exempt you from detention . . .

Thanks a lot for the question, though. I really didn't expect to be the first person to be asked!

Sincerely,

Jojo Mayor

A/N: I'll be posting a question per chapter, so don't worry, more replies are on the way! Thanks a million to iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12, who posted a bunch of queries right off the bat!


	3. Query 2: Dear Gertrude

**Submitted by: iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12**

**To Gertrude: Big fan, Gerty...How is the elephant-bird? He flies, right?**

*glances around* Wh-who, me? Oh, hello there!

*blushes* A fan, huh? Really? Well . . .Thank you so much, that's very sweet of you! It's usually Mayzie that gets all the fans— around here, anyway. It's nice to know that I'm noticed.

"The elephant bird"? You mean Joanna? *laughs* So many of you people seem to think our little Jojo is a boy! And before you ask, yes, we decided to name her after Jojo Mayor. He means quite a lot to Horton, and now that I've had the pleasure of meeting him, he really is a sweetie. . . Don't tell him I said that, though! He gets awfully embarrassed when people compliment him or talk about him behind his back, and I don't want him mad at me!

Anyway, yes, back to the flying. She's getting there! Me and Mayzie have been giving her lessons every week. Yeah, I know, Mayzie doesn't sound like the motherly type, but it turns out she wanted a part in Joanna's life. . . Mayzie's not all bad, you know? Just rather self centered and materialistic. . . Okay, VERY self-centered and materialistic. (Once again, please don't tell anyone I said that!) But she can also be a very kind person.

Hmm, I'm quite a rambler, aren't I? I've said an awful lot more than you asked me for. . . the Cat must be rubbing off on me . . .

Thanks for the question, Invisible Girl!

XOXO Gertrude

**I'm REALLY sorry this took so long to get up! My laptop's keyboard broke and I couldn't type for a while . . . plus I had final exams to finish up. BUT NOW I'M ON VACATION AND MY COMPUTER IS FIXED, SO EXPECT FAST UPDATES! Thank you to whoever faves this and subscribes to it, but thank you even more to anyone who comments! Remember, I need QUESTIONS to keep this thing going! Think of it as an interactive movie! Without the pictures, lol . . . Anyway, love you guys!**

**~Jamie**


	4. Query 3: Dear G Schmitz

**CHAPTER RATED PG FOR MILD LANGUAGE. (lol I forget to do this for the first two so I'm going to edit those.)**

**Submitted by: iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12**

**To Schmitz: I luv you! *hugs Schmitz* How did you become a general and what do you have against butter-side downers?**

Schmitz: Oof! *looks down in shock at being hugged* Young lady, just what exactly do you think you are doing? *sternly detaches Invisible Girl from himself* I have a reputation to uphold!

Me: *pokes her head in and whispers to Invisible Girl* Psst, don't take it personally. He's really just a big softie.

Schmitz: *outraged* EXCUSE ME? I AM _NOT _A SOFTIE! *seethes quietly*

Me: Oh, no, of course not, very sorry sir, very sorry . . . please continue. Ignore me. *ducks out, sniggering*

Schmitz: *scowls* As I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted . . . *turns back to Invisible Girl* I have a reputation to uphold, so please no hugging. *His face softens* Erm, sorry. *pats Invisible Girl's shoulder awkwardly*

Me: *carrying whisper from offstage* I TOLD YOU SO!

Schmitz: *pretending he didn't hear that* Anyway, to the question. How did I_ become _a general? My dear girl, "General" is my first name. I honestly don't know what you're talking about.

Second question. *eyes gleam with slight insanity* Those damned rebels! Have YOU ever heard of people putting butter on the BOTTOM of their bread? IT'S SIMPLY ABSURD! You get your hands all greasy and the crumbs go everywhere! It turns into a disgusting mess! Humph. It just . . . it just goes against NATURE. *shivers* Ever since I was a young Who cadet, we were all taught the same rudimentary tools for civilized society and that includes buttering your bread the way it's meant to be buttered! For Seuss's sake, you don't go around wearing your clothes inside out, do you? Or walking on your hands? *grumble grumble*

Well, thank you very much for the question, ma'am. *salutes* A good day to you, and may you always eat your bread butter-side up!

**Once again, thanks a million for the questions, Invisible Girl! And yeah, I'd love it if you sent in more once I'm done with this batch, lol. IT'S LIKE MAKIN' COOKIES!**

**Always, Jamie**


	5. Query 4: Dear Mrs Mayor

**CHAPTER RATED G**

**Submitted by: iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12**

**To Mrs. Mayor: How did you meet Mr. Mayor? What do you think about JoJo's Thinks?**

Hello there, dearie! *smoothes apron* I didn't expect to be getting a question so soon . . . this is rather exciting . . .

Hmm, now there's a question I don't hear every day! *gets dreamy look in eyes* Well, you see, when I was about thirteen years old, back in the days when the Grinch was still a grinchy old grouch, I attended the Annual Christmas Sing-Along with my family on that famous day after the Grinch *laughs* "stole Christmas".

*chuckles* Jojo's father— whose name is Ned, by the way, dearie— was also attending the singing with his family. Everyone was, of course, as you already know. So, we were all singy-sing-songing away down in Whoville when all of a sudden the Grinch comes bounding down the hill in his great sleigh all smiling and starts giving back all the presents that he took from our houses that Christmas Eve. I waited along with everyone else to get my presents back, but when the Grinch handed the boxes to me with that kindly old grin of his, I realized that it wasn't my name on the tag. The tag said "Ned Mayor". Of course, I'd never met the boy before but there was only one "Mayor" family in the whole town, and I set out to find the boy to give him his presents back, when I bumped into someone who seemed to be in a hurry and I fell to the ground. Whoever it was, I heard them say, "Oh, I'm very sorry, miss, let me help you" and I looked up to see who it was. A smiling boy about my age was standing there looking rather abashed, and was holding his hand out to me. I took it, and he helped me up, and I asked him where he had been running in such a hurry.

"Well, my presents got switched up with a Miss Sally O'Toole's and I was just going to find her so I could get them back to her . . ." he said. *Smiles fondly* He was so polite. Oh, and sweetheart, if you haven't realized yet, MY name is Sally O'Toole. Or, it was, until I married Ned, of course. But I digress.

"That's funny," I said to him, "because MY name is Sally O'Toole."

"Oh, these presents must be yours then!" he said, smiling wider and handing them out to me. But then he noticed that I already had a bag of presents. So, he asked me, sounding awfully puzzled, "But if these are yours, Miss Sally, whose presents are YOU holding?"

"I also had a mix-up," I said. "These presents belong to a Mr. Ned Mayor."

His eyes got a little wider and he said, "Well, that would be me, then, Miss!"

I just laughed and grinned at him and asked him if his family wanted to sit with us for the Roast Beast Banquet that night, and from then on, we were inseparable. . . .

*sighs and snaps back to reality* Oh, I'm sorry honey, I got a bit lost in the story. Anyway, what was your other question? Oh yes! Jojo's Thinks. . . . *shakes head* Well, I must say at first I was very surprised that he would let those sorts of things go out of hand in the way he did, and to be honest I didn't approve very much. *bites lip* But I only wanted what was best for my little boy, you see . . . I know that he loved to dream up those strange Thoughts, but they were interfering with his schoolwork, and his health! He wasn't sleeping as much, he was getting into trouble with his teachers and with other parents in the neighborhood . . . And of course there was the bathtub incident! He could have drowned in there, and the den was completely destroyed! *sigh* I still am not sure how exactly I feel about all this Thinking business, but at the same time I can't help but be proud of my Jojo for his creativity, and what he did to save our world. He has such a great mind, and I want him to be able to go far with his talents . . . Just as long as he doesn't hurt anybody, or himself.

Whew, that was quite a mouthful of a reply, wasn't it! *smiles* Thank you again for the questions, Invisible Girl, and feel free to visit any time! I make a rather delicious batch of Schlopp, if I do say so myself.

Sincerely,

Mrs. S. Mayor

**A/N: WHEW, that really WAS a mouthful! It's the most of written— well, typed— for an answer so far! Thanks again for the questions, Invisible girl, as well as the new ones! ^^ Oh, and also, thank you for the two new questions from Eternal Dreamer-92 and Mooncloud of Riverclan! Once again, I love you guys, in a totally platonic, non-creepy way, and thank you to everyone who favorites and subscribes! Remember, questions, questions, questions! And not just to Jojo, lol! I understand, he's ridiculously cute, and awesome, and I love him too, but these other characters need love! (Thanks, Invisible Girl, for remembering the Cadets! Ensemble *gets evil glares from Whos, Cadets, Bird Girls, Wickershams, Circus performers, and Jungle citizens* — ahem, characters whose names have not yet been made public, need love too! ^^ **

**~ A very happy Jamie**


	6. Query 5: Dear Mayzie

**CHAPTER RATED HIGH PG (with iffy PG-13-ness)**

**Submitted by: iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12**

**To Mayzie: Um...how'd you get an elephant-bird baby?**

*whips around and knocks everyone aside again* Well, FINALLY! I thought I was NEVER going to get a question! You "fanfictioners," as this weird Jamie girl, who's making us respond to all these letters (not that I MIND, of course), keeps calling you, you fanfictioners have the ODDEST tastes in conversational company! I mean SERIOUSLY, the first person you asked was JOJO! I mean, he's cute, I'll give him that, but REALLY, what about him is INTERESTING? _Certainly_ he's not as interesting as _I_ am!

Well, I suppose you want me to answer that question, then. Well, baby, I honestly don't know how my kid turned out to be an _elephant_-bird. . . . I, SERIOUSLY! I did it with an OWL, not HORTON! Ick! *ruffles feathers and taps her chin* Although . . . *voice softens* this IS the world of Seuss . . . around here, I guess you could say that everything is guided not so much by reality as it is by the, uh, e-mo-tion-al and mental actions of the people in it. And . . . *looks down* I guess I didn't act or Think much in the interest of the kid. Horton took my place for that. So . . . yeah.

*clears throat and jumps up again with a dazzling smile* WELL, then, off of THAT depressing subject! You only gave me ONE question, but I just KNOW that you must be DYING to know more about ME, so don't be afraid to give me a ringy-ding-ding again! Soon, now! Toodle-oo, darlin'!

**A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews, as always, and thanks for the new questions, Invisible girl! Haha, these guys really like you! Right, people?**

**The Cast of Seussical: HECKZ YEAH!**

**Sour Kangaroo: Speak for yourselves . . .**

**Me: *shakes head* You'll get over it. Any way. Keep up the awesomeness, fellow Seussical fans! And remember, reviews brighten up my day! Even if they don't include new questions! **

**3 Jamie**


	7. Query 6: Dear Horton

**CHAPTER RATED G**

**Submitted by ****iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12**

**to Horton: Just asking...but do you ever get attacked by fangirls? Cuz in my main fandom we have a ton of fangirls. It's a bit insane, but I'm sure after the egg, nest, and tree thing, fangirls would be a cinch!**

Horton: *looks up from playing pattycake with the elephant bird* Well, hello there! *is pleasantly surprised* You have a question for me? I'm not that interesting, but that's very nice of you . . . hm . . .

Fangirls? *laughs* You mean like Jamie?

Me: *appears out of nowhere* HEY! I HEARD THAT! I AM NOT A FANGIRL! *has crazy fangirl gleam in eye*

Horton: *mildly surprised* Hmm, where'd you learn to pop out of nowhere like that?

Me: *crosses arms* That's classified information, you big lumbering blob.

Cat: *also appears out of nowhere* She's been taking lessons!

Me: GET THE HECK OUT! *shoves Cat into a random vortex* I'll be back . . . *scowls and also steps into vortex*

Horton: *bemused* Well, that was odd . . . although, I really should be used to things like that by now . . . Anyway. Fangirls. Well, Jamie's been keeping us updated on the whole fan-fiction deal going on, and there doesn't seem to be too much in the "Seussical"— that's what she told us our whole adventure is being called in your world— department. But she says that I've got a lot of fans. Something to do with how "cute" it was when I sang "Alone in the Universe" and "Solla Sollew" . . . no idea. I just kinda made those songs up on the spot. The only person around here who plans anything out in advance is Cat. I don't know how he does it . . .

Cat: *pokes head out of vortex* 'Cause I'm AWESOME!

Me: *grabs his tail and drags him back in* Sorry about that.

Cat: Ow, ow, OW! Not the tail!

Horton: . . . Yeah. And then, for fangirls in MY world, well, no one really crazy . . . A lot of people at the Circus McGurkus seemed to like me . . . And then there's Gertrude, but I don't think she's really a fangirl. I wouldn't have known how much she liked me if she hadn't told me herself.

Thank you for the question! I hope it was a good enough answer for you.

Yours truly, Horton T. Elephant

**A/N: You lucky buggers! You got TWO chapters today! :D Well, expect more soon! Love ya guys, especially the reviewers!**


	8. Query 7: Dear Sour Kangaroo

**CHAPTER RATED: PG (for the use of Seussian expletives! and for the Cat's surprising medical vocabulary! xD)**

**Submitted by iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12**

**To The Sour Kangaroo: why ARE you so sour? Was it Horton? Or was it something DEEP in your past? Lol...I feel like Dr. Phil!**

Sour Kangaroo: *enters dramatically from stage left* HUUUUMPH!

Me: *facepalm* Kangaroo . . . she's just asking a question. . . .

SK: . . . And your point is . . .?

Me: *to Invisible Girl* Please excuse her, she's very difficult.

SK: *shoves me out of the way and snaps her fingers sassily* YEAH, that's right, I'm difficult! Any of you got a problem with that? I think I'm at liberty to choose whether I can answer my own questions or NOT! *yells last word in Invisible Girl's face*

Me: *sighs from the ground*

Roo (SK's son): * pokes his head out of SK's pouch* C'mon, mama, it's just a question!

SK: Get back in your room, Roo! And it is NOT just a question! It's a very personal question! And not one that I can just answer at the drop of a hat!

Dr Dake (who, of course, is really the Cat disguised with a lab coat, stethoscope, oversized glasses, clipboard, and fake mustache): *in a thick German accent* I can 'elp you vith zat! *snaps fingers* *an armchair and one of those lounge thingies you see all the time in psychiatrists' offices appear out of nowhere*

SK: *is teleported onto the lounge thingy* What the—

Dr Dake: Jusssst relaxxxx. *plops down in armchair, clipboard at the ready* Now, ze fuurst question, "Why ARE you so sour?" Vell, vell vell. Let us see. Is there anything in your past that you have never told anyone about? Anything that you were afraid of? Any mistreatment you may have endured that could be translated into an insecurity for loss of power at your older age? Could you possibly have contracted a Seussian inferiority complex that you are desperately striving to repress with over-compensation of your authorial duties in the Jungle? Is it likely that—

Me: OKAY OKAY OKAY, that's enough! *rips the clipboard from his hand* Back in the vortex. You're not making any sense.

Cat: *pouts, and his fake mustache falls off* Aww, spoilsport! I almost had the answer!

Me: You're delusional. Now, BACK IN THE VORTEX!

Cat: *smirks* Nope.

Me: Don't MAKE me hide your Hat again.

Cat: *blanches and immediately disappears*

Me: *laughs evilly and turns back to Invisible girl, SK and Roo* He gets nervous when he doesn't have his hat. It's like a security blanket.

Cat: *in a muffled voice from the vortex* IS NOT!

Me: *scowls* I'll leave you guys to your little therapy session. Have fun! *disappears into vortex*

SK: . . .Humph. Anyway. Invisible Boy—

Roo: GIRL, mama, she's a GIRL!

SK: WHATEVER! Now BACK IN YOUR POUCH! *Roo leaves, and SK sighs* Well. Invisible Gal or Girl or whoever the hunch you are, I don't know why I'm sour! That's like asking Mayzie why she's an airhead! It wasn't Horton . . . I mean, the whole Whoville nonsense was his first infraction against the society. I was just doin' my job! Keepin' the peace! Jeez, just because someone in the crazy place has to be the assertive one, the one to enforce the laws, everyone suddenly needs to label them as "sour"! I don't even remember when I got dubbed as that . . . I kinda just went along with it; it sounded like a title, y'know? Look, I dunno why I act . . . meaner than I should. It's just that there're a lotta morons in the world that you have to keep in line, and someone has to do that job! I just . . . guess I have zero-tolerance for people that step outside the lines, upset what little balance we have in Nool. So, I'm the perfect one for the job. There's nothin' wrong with that, right?

Right!

~ S. Kangaroo

**A/N: Hmm! She got a little defensive towards the end there, ya think? I think so! Anyway, thanks a million people, as usual! OH AND TO THOSE WHOSE QUESTIONS I HAVEN'T ANSWERED YET, don't worry! I'm not showing favoritism towards Invisible Girl, I just want to do the questions in the order I got them to avoid confusion. ****Remember to comment on the chapters! Hugs and cookies!**

**~Jamie**


	9. Query 8: Dear Cat

**CHAPTER RATED: PG (because the question is for the Cat xD Oh and for one sort-of-but-not-really swear)**

**Submitted by ****iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12**

**To Cat: Where'd you get your Hat? And What did they call you BEFORE you found it?**

Cat: *suddenly appears right behind Invisible Girl* WHOA! YOUR HAIR IS SHINY!

Me: . . . What. The. Hell.

Cat: What! I said that boar lairs are briny!

Me: Just answer the question before I kill you until you die.

Cat: Righty-o! Orrighty then, the question the question the question the question the question the question the queeeeeeeessstiooonnn.

WHERE DID I GET MY HAT? Did you see the play or not, child! I was Thought into existence by Jojo, and I had the Hat on my head when I appeared, didn't I?

Me: *mumbling to myself side* Oh great, he's fibbing again.

Cat: AM NOT!

Me: DUUDE! I read the script! I _WAS YOU_! So DO NOT TRY TO FOOL ME!

Cat: O.o

Me: Just . . . tell the truth. Use that microscopic sliver of sanity I have faith that you still possess and give the girl a straight answer.

Cat: *sighs* Fine. If you really want to know. . . .

Me: *surprised at his cooperation* Yes, she does.

Cat: *very seriously* My Hat was bequeathed upon me by Michael Jackson, who has been reincarnated as a Sneetch.

Me: …. _Just shoot me now._

Cat: *pulls out a bazooka, grinning* Okay!

Me: NONONONONONONONONOo!*waves hands frantically* I WAS KIDDING, I WAS KIDDING! *Cat puts away the bazooka, and I wipe my forehead and turn back to Invisible Girl*

Look, I'm sorry. I honestly don't think you'll ever get a straight answer from him, so I'll answer for him as best I can.

He was Thought into existence by all the combined Thinks of the children in the world who needed someone to play with, someone who could help them bring their imaginations to full potential . . . He didn't really find his Hat anywhere. It's just been a part of him for as long as he's been around. And I guess that means that he doesn't actually have a name besides "The Cat in the Hat" . . . although . . . I don't know myself. I've only known him for, what, two years?

Cat: *whistling "How Lucky You Are" as he hops from daisy to daisy— wait, where did the giant blue daisies come from? . . .ah well.*

Me: . . .Yep. Sorry he's, like, impervious to questions. Maybe next time he'll straighten out long enough to give you a better answer.

Cat: *pops in between us* I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Me: Time to go!

Cat: *tips hat and bows to Invisible Girl* Thank you, miss, for the generous donation of your time.

Me: *shoves him towards the vortex* Oh yeah, you can be a real charmer when you want to!

Cat: *waves* Au revoir!

Me: AND NOW YOU CAN SPEAK FRENCH! WELL YOU KNOW _WHAT_? HASTA LA VISTA, BABY! *shoves him headfirst into the vortex* *looks around awkwardly, then claps hands, and the curtain goes down*

**A/N: This was probably one of my favorites so far. Haha! More to come!**

**Oh, and the two quotes in this chapter are copyright Robert McCloskey and, uh, Arnold Schwarzenegger. xD **

**Conversation Hearts and Cherry Chapstick, Jamie**


	10. Query 9: Dear Cadets

**CHAPTER RATED: G**

**Submitted by iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12**

**To The Cadets: Before you were enlisted into the Military Academy, were you ever Thinkers like Jojo? And chanting "Schmitz" is not an answer, men!**

Xxx

Cadet 1: Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz . . .

Cadet 2: *smacks C1 upside the head* She said chanting "Schmitz" is NOT an answer, you sack-head! Get your ears cleaned! Besides, we're on summer vacation too, you don't have to go by Academy rules now.

C1: Ow! Hey, months of chanting "Schmitz" and having to speak completely in rhyme makes it hard to remember how to speak like a normal person when the time comes!

C2: *pats C1's shoulder* S'okay. *turns to Invisible Girl* Well, as you can see, we haven't completely been brainwashed. Some of us have retained our individuality better than others, but you know what the General's like . . . when drilling the "silliness" from our heads, he always makes a dent.

Cadet 3: *pipes up* Yeah. I can hardly remember how to Think now.

Cadet 4: * pops head in* Same. But I remember what I used to do! When I was little, I used to always build these forts in my living room with books and sofa pillows, and then jump around inside pretending I was being attacked by a mafia of four-legged Hacken-Krakks!

C1: *taps chin thoughtfully* Now that you mention it, I vaguely remember this one rainy day when I was like, seven . . . my Mom wasn't home, and my sister and I were moping around with nothing to do. Then, I remember Thinking up this imaginary friend to play with us! Haha, believe this— it was a six-foot cat wearing a Hat!

All Cadets except C1: *stare incredulously at C1*

C1: *sheepishly* Hey, I was seven . . .

C2: *to Invisible Girl* Anyway, now you know. Thanks for remembering us with the question!

All Cadets: *file out chanting "Schmitz"*

xxx

**A/N: SO SORRY GUYS! I've been busy with summer theatre stuff, and am on vacation now! Luckily I was able to get a WIFI connection on my laptop *whew!* Anyway, I'd like to thank Amata le Fay for the shiny new review, and don't worry everyone, new chapters are on their way!**

**Chocolate Syrup and Magic Markers, Jamie**


	11. Query 10: Dear Cast

**CHAPTER RATED: PG (just in case)**

**Submitted by iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12**

**To Everyone: Where do you think Solla Sollew REALLY is? **

**(A/N: Sorry to interrupt the flow of the opening with a Note, but I just have to say that this is a REALLY, REALLY good question. In fact, you gave me a plot bunny for another possible Seussical fanfiction! :O Thanks so much for Thinking outside the box, Invisible Girl! The Cat would be proud! [: )**

**Xxx**

Me: *looks around, puts fingers to mouth, and whistles REAAAAALLY loudly* ALRIGHT, YOU HEARD THE GAL! ALL OF YOU, GET OUT HERE!

*the entire cast of Seussical enters in one way or another*

Me: Okay guys, to keep this orderly, each of you is going to come up in alphabetical order— *is cut off by the Wickershams, who run up and shove me into the vortex*

Wickersham 1: *snickers* Alphabetical order, seriously? That's stupid.

Wickersham 2: Yeah. We go first! Anyone have a problem with that? *glares around at the cast, all of whom shake their heads profusely* Good.

Wickersham 3: Solla Sollew? That's heaven, right? The perfect place? Well . . . *glances at his brothers, who are staring at him incredulously* What! Just 'cause you two never read, doesn't mean I have to act like a moron! *turns to Invisible Girl* As you can see, I'm the smart one.

W1 & 2: Hey!

W3: *ignores them* I dunno what heaven would be like for me . . . I guess just somewhere where I could have fun all day and play tricks and monkey around without getting yelled at by _her_. *points to Sour Kangaroo*

SK: Well, SOMEBODY'S got to keep you three in line!

W1: Yeah. . . I guess that's what Solla Sollew would be for me, too.

W2: Me, three.

Me: *climbs out of vortex, grumbling* Thanks a lot, guys. I landed in a Lurch and it's gonna take forever to get the prickly pears out of my hair. Anyway, who's next? *spots Gertrude being awkward in a corner, as usual* Hey, Gertie, don't be shy.

Gertrude: *looks at Horton nervously, then steps forward*: Well, uh, I'm pretty happy with my life right now. There's no place I'd rather be than with Jojo— well, Joanna— and, uh *blushes* Horton. In the Jungle of Nool. Although it would be nice if the Wickershams didn't play so many pranks on me, and if the Cat sent notice before he unexpectedly pops in for a visit, literally. It's rather disconcerting to be making supper when all of a sudden you turn around and there's a cat-person at the table juggling the condiment jars.

Me: *looks at Cat* Why do you always have to juggle random household objects? Why can't you just use juggling balls?

Cat: It's less interesting that way!

Me: *facepalm* NEVERMIND. *storms toward him* Well then, why don't _you_ tell us wha— *is tripped by the Wickershams, and falls into the vortex. Again.*

Everyone: . . .

Horton: *pensively* Solla Sollew for me would be any peaceful place where you can let your imagination soar. Joanna and Gertrude would be there, too. *smiles and pats Joanna's head*

*Gertrude blushes deeper*

Jojo: *hops up next to Horton shyly* Me, too. Kind of. Maybe "peaceful" isn't the right word though. For me, Solla Sollew would be someplace exciting, where my Thinks could run wild! But, uh, *glances at the Cat* not TOO exciting.

Cat: *is doing something mischievous, as usual*

Jojo: *inches farther away from the Cat*

*suddenly the vortex opens above everyone's heads and I plummet out, screaming*

Me: *lands in McElligot's pool* *thrashes to surface, spluttering*

Cat: OH NO! THIS CALLS FOR A DARING RESCUE! *is suddenly wearing a lifeguard getup and wielding a life preserver*

Me: Stay away from me! I can swim, you dolt! *swims to shore and starts wringing out clothing* *glares at Wickershams* You three are going to wish that Jojo never Thought you into existence! Anyhow. Who wants to share next?

*momentary silence*

Mayzie: *shoves everyone aside* Somewhere where everyone loves ME! Of course, that wouldn't be much different from the way things are right now, would it?

Me: *epic facepalm*

Cat: *mutters to self* I thought she learned her lesson . . .

Gertrude: *frowns* Mayzie, is that really all that's important to you?

Everyone: *looks at Mayzie*

Mayzie: *slightly uncomfortable* Uh, well, what else is there to . . . *her eyes land on Joanna* Well. Um. *looks at her feet and speaks in a barely perceptible voice* I'd be a better mum. And . . . have another chance . . . with Joanna . . .

Joanna: *isn't sure what's going on, but flaps lopsidedly over to Mayzie and nuzzles her shoulder*

Cat: *appears behind a podium holding a large cue card which says "AWWW!" on it*

*a collective "awww"-ing sound is heard*

Me: *smiles*

Mayzie: *hugs Joanna awkwardly* I . . . gotta go. *flutters off*

Roo: *jumps out of his mother's pouch and hops over to Joanna*

SK: You come back here, Roo!

Roo: Mama, I want to answer, too! *turns to Invisible Girl* I've always wanted to try Thinking! In my Solla Sollew, I'd be able to travel to wherever I wanted to go, whenever I wanted to go there! Without my mom telling me I can't.

SK: *looks stricken* Roo! You know I only do those things to keep you safe!

Bird Girl 1: Kangaroo, you gotta learn to lay off. I feel for the kid. I'd like to get away from Mayzie sometimes too.

Bird Girl 2: Yeah . . . maybe in our Solla Sollew it would be a place where we can . . . I don't know, express ourselves more.

Bird Girl 3: *quietly* Uh-huh. Being around Mayzie can be a little . . . overshadowing? It'd be nice to get the spotlight for once. *to Kangaroo* Ya need to let the kid go.

SK: . . . *struggling for words* He— he can't just go off doing crazy things; go off _Thinking! _Look where Thinking got everyone the first time around!

Jojo: *walks up to SK silently and taps her to get her attention* Thinking was also what got us out of our predicament "the first time around".

SK: *is silent*

Cat: *laughing* Oh-ho-ho, BUUUURN!

Me: *is trying very hard not to yell* Cat. That wasn't a "burn" at _all_.

Cat: How is a biffer-baum like a Barbaloot?

Everyone: . . . .WTF

Me: o_e Aaaaaaas we were _saying_ . . .

SK: *looks away* I just want you to be safe and happy, Roo. *admits grudgingly* I suppose that's my idea of Solla Sollew. Knowing that.

Mrs Mayor: Oh, dear! The exact same goes for me, with Jojo! *gets emotional, runs up to SK and embraces her*

Everyone: OoO

Me: Oh God God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God

Cat: *has a taser at the ready just in case*

Everyone: *holds breath*

SK: *freezes, and then . . . hugs her back*

Everyone: WHAT. THE. ****?

Cat & Me (in unison): AAAAH THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH AAAAAH *race to get to the vortex, and battle to get through first*

Mr Mayor:*awkwardly clears his throat in the silence that follows* Well, I think the same goes for me as well, as far as Solla Sollew is concerned. *puts his arms around Jojo and Mrs Mayor* All our family together. And Whoville safe, free from fear, and happy. Which is the way things are now, so I'm glad to say I'm living in Heaven on Who.

Cat: *peeks out of vortex and holds out the "AWWW!" cue-card again, then ducks back*

*collective awww-ing*

Mr Mayor: *looks pleased that he caused a general consensus of pleasure* *turns to General Genghis Kahn Schmitz, who is looking rather disturbed at all the fluffy cuteness* How about you, General? What might your idea of true happiness be?

Schmitz: *slams fist down on a table that appears out of nowhere* A WHOVILLE THAT IS FREE OF THE DASTARDLY, DREADED BUTTER-SIDE-DOWNERS! . . .*pauses* *thinks to himself* _And a puppy . . ._

Cat: *pops up behind the General, smirking evilly* *communicates to Schmitz through telepathy* _I heard that._

Schmitz: *flinches* Er, I have to go. Come, Cadets!

Cadet 1: Uh, sir! We would like to answer the question the lady asked, sir!

All Cadets: Yes, sir!

Schmitz: *sighs* All right, men, but make haste! *salutes and leaves*

Cadet 2: Thank Seuss he's gone. Now we can answer honestly! In MY Solla Sollew I wouldn't have to go to Military school!

Cadets 1, 3, & 4: Same for us!

C2: . . . Aaaand I would be able to paint with my sister as much as I want. I never see her. And I like to paint.

C3: *looks at C2, surprised: Really? Huh. Well, in my Solla Sollew . . . I guess . . . I'd like to live in the Jungle of Nool. It sounds fun there! And I like exploring. And I'd like to talk to Horton.

Citizens of Nool: WOOHOO WE ROCK!

Horton: *waves cheerfully at Cadet 3*

Cadet 1: I'd just want to be around my friends back at home all the time. And try eating my bread butter-side-down.

*the other Cadets and Mr and Mrs Mayor all gasp dramatically*

Jojo: *rolls eyes* It doesn't matter, you guys.

C1: *shrugs sheepishly*

Cadet 4: Hmm . . . I dunno what Solla Sollew would be for me . . . I guess . . . *puts hands in pockets and speaks in a low tone* I guess in mine, my parents would still be together.

C3: *pats C4's shoulder*

Cat: *pops up behind the Cadets and claps them on the back encouragingly* That's the spirit! Points for showing you can all still think for yourselves! Somewhat!

Grinch: *pipes up in his growly voice* In my Solla Sollew, every day would be like Christmas!

Yertle the Turtle: *also pipes up* JUSTIIIICE!

Vlad Vladikov: I dunno about Heaven for me, man . . . I wouldn't really want to DO anything. Just retire. The Sour Kangaroo works me to the BONE, man.

Cat: *grins at Invisible Girl* Well, there you go! Now you know the deep, dark psychology behind our true motives! Have a grand day! *tips hat and turns to leave*

Me: *leaps out of vortex and tackles the Cat* NOW WAIT JUST ONE SECOND! YOU'RE NOT GOIN' ANYWHERE! _**YOU**_ HAVEN'T ANSWERED THE QUESTION YET!

Cat: *brushes me away and doesn't respond*

Me: *puts hands on hips* Well? You gonna be serious for once?

Jojo: *is expectant*

Everyone: *stares at the Cat*

Horton: This should be interesting.

Gertrude: *raises eyebrows*

Cat: *glances around. It's completely silent. He crosses his ankles and leans on his umbrella* . . . Somewhere that everyone's happy. Especially the kids.

*smiles slightly, turns on his heel and disappears*

*there's a long pause. Everyone looks around at each other, lost for words*

Me: *shell-shocked*

Jojo: *is the first out of their reverie* *to Invisible Girl* Well, uh, thanks for the question. It definitely wielded some . . . interesting results.

**Xxx**

**A/N: Yes. The Cat was serious. Now it's REALLY the Apocalypse. **

**;) Hope you all saw sides of the characters that you weren't expecting! And sorry for the long wait for an update (teehheee that rhymed). **

**Until next time, Jamie**


	12. Query 11: Dear Jojo

**CHAPTER RATED: G**

**Submitted by ****EternalDreamer-92**

To Jojo: First of all- *Hugs* You're awesome~!

*Clears throat* As for the actual question- Do your Thinks still ever get you in trouble? What was your first Think? And do you still see the Cat often?

-

Loving this story :D.

**XXX**

Jojo: Hello there, Dreamer. *uncertain smile*

*is hugged* *is shocked, and blushes deeply* U-uh-uh . . . um . . . not sure how to respond to that . . .

Cat: *pops head in* *speaks in a carrying whisper* Give her a kiss!

Jojo: *looks murderous*

Cat: *sniggers and ducks out again*

Jojo: *color still high* Sorry about him . . . he's the devil incarnate sometimes . . . Anyway, I think he just answered your last question for me. Yes, Cat occasionally pops up and screws with my life, luckily not as much as he used to, but it still happens. Most recently my mom came home from shopping one day and there he was, painting an elaborate mural on our living room wall. Mom nearly had a heart attack. *scowls* He got rid of the mural later, but had himself a good laugh over the whole thing.

And yeah . . . I still get in trouble for Thinking . . . not as much as before, because Thinking is more accepted now and has even been adopted into the curriculum at school! *grins proudly* They announced that during the ceremony for my Thinker Non-Stop Award. But there are still guidelines to keep things under control . . . and I have more difficulty than the other kids keeping my Thinks under wraps.

Hmm . . . My first Think . . . That's a tough one. The timeline in our world is kinda skewed, so I'm not really sure . . . But when I was little I vaguely remember giving our house feathers and wings. *smiles sheepishly* Heh, the whole thing nearly flew off with us in it, but luckily my dad got the repairwhos to remove the wings in time. The feathers were there for a while though . . . it took months before our house shed them. *giggles*

Thanks for the question, Dreamer! You brought back some funny memories. I have a question of my own, though . . .What about your name? Do you dream a lot? I love to dream. My Thinks are always brightest then. *grins*

Always, Jojo Mayor

XXX

**A/N: Okays, so I am so sorry at the slowness of my stupid updating. Plus, I AM SO SORRY TO ALL THOSE OF MY WONDERFUL QUESTION-SUBMITTERS WHO HAVE NOT YET RECEIVED AN ANSWER TO THEIR QUESTIONS! ALL OF YOU ARE SO IMAGINATIVE IN WHAT YOU ASK AND THE CAST LOOKS FORWARD TO ANSWERING THEM ALL! I'm just . . . a terrible recorder . . . I'm sorry . . . I'm going as fast as I can! TT-TT**

**Keep up the awesomeness! Please review, even if not to leave a question! Tell me what you think! :D**

**Cheers, Jamie**


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